Hey Ram

Birds are loud
Sun is on the cloud
Singing to walls is bad
And birthdays are bad

I lay on ground staring at the stars and singing the self composed rhyme. Mrs. Kim, our care taker, English by origin, had once told that our loved ones, after death, became stars in the sky. Hence I was staring at the starry sky and surprisingly it stared me back. Sigh! It was just a story after all. They were celestial bodies and not the imprint of departed souls.
Would I be one of them some day? Oh! Come on I am going back to the fairytale. Life is not about tales, it is all about life…not to be taken seriously because no one lasts for long.

Blinking to the stars
I sat reclined
Thinking of rhymes that
Whispered to the mind

Days so golden that shimmer was stinging
Nights so breezy that dreams were twinkling

As a child I had wrinkles on face
Growing on others was probably my fate
I may sit and dream too high
But it was someone else who decides
Where on earth will I breathe
Where on earth will I die
Where on earth will I lie

My name was His
My luck His kiss
I dream of peace
But live piece by piece

Sigh! Why do I have to rhyme each time I think about it. I was still nostalgic and still waiting…
I sat in my brother’s lap at the gate of our home waiting for our parents to come back. It was the post Mahatma Gandhi assassination era. Everything was on fire! Guns, minds, houses. I had seen few people drag my father into a jeep. I didn’t understand why but as I saw my mother crying and running after them, I knew something was wrong and started crying. My brother Kishan hushed me and told me that they will come back soon.

They didn’t. But we waited…

We were sent to an orphanage in Sangli. There were other kids too from our village. And we all were supposed to be nurtured well, so that childless couples from rich families and big cities may come and adopt us. My brother’s time came too soon for me to realize that we were being separated forever. He pleaded his new parents to take me too but due to financial issues they couldn’t. So, he promised to come back soon and take me. He even called on Mrs. Kim’s phone to talk to me. He always said he will be around soon. Each time his voice was more solemn and I grew skeptical about our reunion. He promised to come back but he couldn’t. And I waited…

I was exhausted of waiting even tears had dried up of the sorrow. I was so fed up of Gandhi. He had made our lives miserable. Mrs. Kim had his portrait hung over the mantelpiece in her office. I hated her for that.
He first agreed to partition in which I lost my grandparents. He then decided to get assassinated in which I lost my parents. He then decides to create a rumble after his “Hey Ram!” in which I was separated from my only family after being brought to this orphanage. I bet he is now the pole star, transfixed in the sky making sure I lose everything. And yes I don’t have money because he is printed on it.
I was debating with myself over the issues I had with him when Mrs. Kim summoned me. I waited outside her office after being told there was a couple who wished to adopt me. I tried to settle my adamant hair. My thoughts ran back to him… oh great he didn’t have hair at all, gave all of them to me.

The couple inside was an elderly one and I was their candidate number one because of my eyes that I inherited from my mother. Almond shaped and green. My only asset.
I tried to hear what they were discussing.
“Yes sir! His birthday is on 30th Jan. He will turn 7 then”.
Wow I shared my birthday with his demise. No wonder.
“Oh! That’s just great Mrs. Kim and what else about this child that might encourage us? Just for a background, you probably know I was a student of Gandhi at the Sabarmati, when he was alive. Its my tribute and duty to him that I come here, and make one life better”.
Oh my God! He was some English man. I could recognize the accent.
“Well sir he is a grateful child. But there is something about what he feels about his birthday. He is sad on that day”.
“He doesn’t sound grateful then, assuming you celebrate it for him”, a lady spoke.
“Well he must have his reasons”.
“Isn’t he too young to think?
“Ma’am its life and fate! He is a child and has freedom of thoughts. I think he has something about it. He has faced too much and grown exponentially with years…mentally. I would like you to meet him now. Ram please come in dear.”
I entered and smiled sheepishly. The couple looked at me with interest. The lady looked strict but motherly and the gentleman was kind.
“Ram I would like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. Richmond.”
“Namaste Sir, Namaste Ma’am.”
“Namaste Ram! Please sit”, the lady spoke to me. I sat on a stool near her. She asked me to look up taking my chin in her hands.
“Gosh! He has beautiful eyes”, my eyes fell on the portrait and they filled with rage. She pulled her hand back hurriedly.
“So Ram why don’t you like birthdays?”
“ummm I grow older each time. No one will adopt me if I am too old”, Mrs. Richmond was quiet.
Mr. Richmond spoke up,” I just saw anger in your eyes, is anything wrong?”
“Yes its Gandhi”.
Mrs. Kim fell quiet. I could see disappointment in her eyes, after a few minutes she asked me to leave.
“He is pacific and honest but…”, I heard no more, just ran away.
Next day Mrs. Kim came running to me with tears in her eyes. I was going to England with my new parents. She had probably told them about me and Gandhi.
[Ten years later]

I was sitting in my literature class at college just finishing this story, when I heard some humming from behind. Few girls were talking and giggling pointing to a new comer who had just entered. I ignored and went back to work. With a thud landed a bag beside me and a smiling face. The eyes probed me with recognition.
“Hey! Newcomer.”
“Hey Ram!”
The waiting was over.

Saddest Fairytale Ever Told

Hopping on stones with a child's caprice,
holding her skirt with a princess' ease.
Happiness ran through her
electrifying her heart
weak though it was, contained her bosom,
all it could cart.
Blue were her eyes and her heart had hues,
she was a fairy was all she knew.

high teen spring times old
she had kindergartners in her fold,
she tinkled with them and her fairy thoughts were retold.
at Twilight, she did not know why
that cupid spied
and dawn survived
when her prince arrived.

Romance so romantic that mistletoe entwined,
soon there were rings and marriage bells chimed.
Hitherto came the pumpkin welcomed by all,
train as long as her pride followed her to the royal ball.
Vows to eternity were read by the Pope,
and they kiss-sealed the hope...
hope of a fairy, a princess a daughter,
A nurse, a saint, a mother a laughter.
She undid all knots, fulfilled all hopes,
and bore the heirs though behind slithered the ropes.

Ropes that tore apart the tale,
bruised the family and love
was stale,
But Rose still smiled called to the country
and whispered to those in pain
scrambled over past and searched for love but all in vain.

Tits bits love endured her not for long
moved over pain but for needy she wore a song.

She was too dazed to feel,
When love hit her squarely
thorns hers by birth might prick her entirely.

She hopped on yachts and tinkled over wines.
Blue were her eyes
bluish were the heart hues,
she again was a fairy
was all she knew.

Eyes on the alter
she walked beneath Eiffel
Joy electrifying her heart
weak though it was
contained her bosom all it could cart.

She was perhaps dearer to sky,
so doom followed with paparazzi on the fly.
She was so alive and then she was gone,
everyone knew and hoped it was wrong.
A flame blasted in second confirming the worst fears
a light that shines no more on earth
for which were shed many tears.

Good bye England's Rose
may she ever grow in our hearts
She was the grace that placed itself where lives were torn apart
coz Princess Diana she was...

P.S.: There's Elton too

जागृति

आँखों ने आँखों को जो सपना दिखाया है देखो कहीं टूट जाये ना,

किनारों को चूने से पहले समंदर कहीं लौट जाये ना .

अरमान जो जगाये थे वीरो ने शीत पड़ जाये ना

स्वतंत्रता का तिरंगा कहीं हो ना जाये मजबूर

सफलता का काफिला कहीं निकल ना जाये दूर

क्यूँ नहीं तोड़ रहे जंजीर

क्यूँ ही जकड़े हो खुद ही अपनी तकदीर

संगीत से बोल रही में अपनी जुबान

जाग ए जवान

जग ए हिन्दुस्तां

हम हैं आगामी नीव उस नवजीवन की

जो किलकारी में गा रहा है उदय बचपन का

किरणों को पकड़ चढ़ जा रथ पर

छू ले इठलाते आसमान को लपककर

ये झूमती हवाएं राह निकल रही हमरे लिए

इनके आगोश में खुद को गवांकर चुनिए

बुलबुला जो पहुंचाए सतह तक

अगर जगाया है खुद को को तो में ना लिखूंगी

पर फिर भी तब तक कोशिश करुँगी

जब तक जीर्ण शीर्ण कंकाल की बिलखती आत्मा की करूँ कराह

ना पहुंचा दूँ उन बधिरों तक

जो मदमस्त हैं सूक्ष्म सफलता की चाह में

और उठ खड़े हों भारत के

यौवन के मृदंग नाच पर

Dadi

My grandmother, the prettiest woman my eyes ever beheld, the softest heartbeat I ever heard. As her heartbeats were fading away, intensifying were her memories. Her touch and smell hovered over me.
"Meeesha! where are you?"Dadi cried. She was running all over the house looking for me. I was sitting in a loft, in the verandah, too frightened to speak, lest the force would push me down, all the way to the floor. Bang!!! I would land on the floor...the thought scared me out of my wits and I decided to keep quiet. The panoramic view inside the loft!! uff I could see the webs all over the womb of the loft. Old tins, brooms covered with dust lay scattered on the floor. I could also hear some rustling and tweaking sounds, I guess a big rat! Oh no! And then guess what! Someone looking at me. He was as surprised and frightened to see me as I was to meet him there. He made some kind of noise inside his throat and I gulped. I looked around for a weapon to use against him. But he was prepared for it. He sat up straight and looked into my eyes. I could feel his gaze piercing me and then "Meeeeshaaa". Dadi was standing below the loft still looking for me. I was still too scared to move. I looked down at her ultra serene head covered with whitest of white hair like snow. But hey! I had to speak. Dadi said again, “Child where are you?” I moved my feet. My toes struck something sharp and it started throbbing with pain. Tears welled up in my eyes. The image of my enemy blurred, he seemed to have become 4. Oh no! He was coming closer...about to kill me."OH!! Dadi help me”, I thought.
There below a speck of dust landed on dadi's face and when she looked up she saw my dress and shouted," what ARE YOU doing THERE?”It was like someone blowed air into my lungs and vibrations into my heart. I mimed,"please help me down".She said,"yes wait let me bring the stairs". He had moved closer still. And was moving his head like a villain...
Dadi had put up a ladder and was climbing slowly. I could hear the rustle of her saree. And before he could touch me she grabbed my waist and lifted me in her lap. And I cried on her shoulders,"Oh! Dadi he was about to kill me! Thank God He sent you to me".Dadi was bewildered she looked around inside the loft."who?”I pointed at the place he was sitting, but he wasn’t there any more. She kissed me and brought me down and again asked me,"who was it?"."oh dadi he was about to eat me", and I hugged her tight, so relieved,"Dadi there was this balck ugly insect staring at me".She looked at me awkwardly,"So?",she asked,"well you were at such a place who else do you expect to meer?"."but he was looking at me.You should have seen his face arghhhh". She laughed so hard that her little stomach vibrated against my chest as I lay in her lap. She carressed my hair and asked me to sleep.
Then I woke up with a start,"Dadi, Sunny bhaiya had put me there." Dadi looked at me equally shocked and equally angry,"and why did he do that?". I said,"well I wasnt letting him go out to play". Dadi was really angry. She picked up a broom and started looking for bhaiya. My dadi an extreme feminist went out in the lawn and brought bhaiya back holding him by collar and hitting him with the broom on his back. WHACKK!!! "oooo dadi" WHACKKKK!! "sorry dadi". I laughed and laughed till tears rolled down my cheeks.
I touched my face and was surprised to find it wet. I was standing alone, outside the ICU, waiting for dadi to come back from coma. She had been in there since 3 days. The nurse arrived and said I could go inside. I wore the sterilized cloak she gave me, took off my shoes and entered the ward. It was gallery with rooms on both the sides. I glanced sideways to see inside the ward. Too many grandma's and grandpa's lay there. Some had few family members and other lay alone. Sad.
Dadi's room was 104. I passed 102,103 and closed my eyes before I could see her. I needed to talk to someone. I fell on my knees and said,"Om Sai Raam". And then lifted my head. I could see the bottom of her bed and the dozens of machines trembling under the responsibility of keeping her alive. I could hear a tune ringing in my head of kal ho na ho.."hona hi tha jo hua hai". I stood up and saw her face glowing like the Midnight sun, the Himalayas, the Ganges, the white marble of Radha Krishna idols at the temple, like cool breeze after the rain, like a rose in a canopy of celebrations, like a princess, like a fairy...about to become an angel. Her face crisscrossed with wrinkles like rivers on a map glowed with the purity of her heart and the sacredness of my respect for her. My parents sat there. Of course I wont cry, she was his mother. How could I remind and press upon the truth which he had to face, the maddening pressure of truth that already was pressing upon him. I went as close to her as I could. I asked the nurse if I could touch her. She shook her head. I didn’t dare to touch her face, lest I disturbed her. I curled my fingers around hers. She was so cool. The doctor came. He looked as serious as a table lamp. He said we could speak to her. She wont respond but she could listen to us. My father got up and sat beside her, on her bed and searched for words to express his heart. He said, "dont go...".I couldn't hear more of his words. I bent and said, "I love u" in her ears and went out, still thinking, that once she promised, she will give me mehndi and bangles on my marriage.